Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Monday, December 19, 2005
From left/top to bottom/right:
1. Chris at the top of Mt. Pilchuck in the Cascade mountains. 2. Amber and I in New York, where did that double chin come from? Am I really that fat, my God I have to get on some diet. 3. Brent, Jim, and I infront of the statue of Stalin in Fremont. 4. Jennifer and Derek at the Gorge in George to see Pearl Jam. And what an incredible show it was also. 5. Brent, me, Derek, Troy, Jim, at the Red Door in Fremont for my going-away party. Sad. 6. My Brother and I standing ontop of the wall surrounding the city of Dubrovnik, Croatia. That was an incredible little city and the beachs nearby were some of the most beautiful I have ever seen. 7. Me, half naked in the Adriatic Ocean, just outside of the city of Split in Croatia. 8. Marching Isreali troops at the Aushweitz concentration camp in Poland. They marched to the opposit end of the campground to play music and give several speeches to morn the death of all of the Jews, and others killed there and else where during the Holocaust. I put this picture up to remind people of the tradgedy that occured and also to remind people that coming up soon is the Jewish holiday of Hanukka, not just the Christian worship of Santa Claus known as Christmas.
You can see these pictures and more on my Flickr site here.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
For your consideration I have posted a rough sketch of what I consider to be the most common forms of ninja walking the streets of Boston (click on the image for a larger veiw):
The first sketch on the left is of a female ninja as can be seen by the thin eye brows and lighter shade of gray for the eyes. The second is a pretty common ninja that has holes in the mouth area to help him breath. I’m not sure of the reasoning for this other than this type of ninja must do a lot of running and jumping from roof-top to roof-top. The third is drawn as a male ninja but actually appears in this area as both genders equally, and I call this ninja the “Snow Ninja”. Snow ninjas tend to wear big jackets with the fake fur lining in the hood with a scarf wrapped around their face up to the nose at which point the eyes are visible and then the rest of the head is covered by secret, proprietary, ninja garments. Please, if you have any more information on the ninja concentration in Boston please let me know.
Update: I have been told that these are not actual ninjas but instead just stupid Harvard/MIT kids that are trying to prevent the cold from reaching their faces as they walk to class. Of course that is ridiculous, I know what a ninja looks like first off because I was raised in the wild by a ninja for a year when my parents couldn’t look after me. And secondly, how dare you second guess me! This is my blog damn it.
Friday, December 09, 2005
- Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
- When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
- Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
- Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
- Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
- Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
- Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
- Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
- Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
- Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
- Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
- Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
- To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
- There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
- Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
- There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
- Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhouse kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.
- The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
- The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Forever away. Locked in the smithies room. Where could I have come from, where will I be. Here amongst the giants[sic] past the time of the greats. I’m locked in a sphere of octagons.
Triangular is the shadow that falls past your head. Cylindrical is the free weight hanging above your head? What shall we do?
What shall we do indeed! The question bestows the indolence from which it deserves. For no man can resist the temptation of the holy vessel.
The insolence of man will be justified by the presence of sulfoxides and chlorobenzines. If only the.
Holy half past the time of despair. Where in the love of god am I, definitely not at the keyboard. Never to go near the key board again. When shall this become important?
Is this proof that weed does not stimulate creativity but instead inhibits rational thought? I think so.